i should never be allowed near prospective students

This week has been incredibly stressful. I’m writing three papers simultaneously (none of which are completed at this point), and the readings for my classes have been piling up like whoa. I don’t understand why writing has been so hard. I can churn out a thousand words in an hour or so, but for some reason, these papers have been incredibly difficult. Premature senioritis? Possibly. But I’d put money on general laziness at this point.

As a much needed break, I went to dinner with my friends. As I was walking to my friends’ dorm to meet up, head in a fog as usual, I suddenly found myself swimming upstream. A horde of prospective students was walking in the opposite direction, and I was unwittingly caught in the middle, disoriented and hungry. I had forgotten that this weekend, tons of admitted students would be roaming the campus, scoping out whether or not they would be willing to spend the next four years here. Instead of fighting to advance toward my destination, I gave up and stood still, occasionally picking up fragments of conversations about hometowns and other schooling options (“Yeah, I was accepted to every school I applied to. But this place is really pretty.” etc.).

I happen to be in love with my school, so when I hear people bragging about the other schools they could have attended, I become a bit defensive. Amazingly enough, I kept my mouth shut and instead shook my head at the way the prospies were trying so hard to impress each other.

But my intolerance of arrogance is not why I shouldn’t be around prospective students. I mean, it’s a good reason, but it’s not the only one. As I mentioned before, I love my school. Maybe a little bit too much.

When I meet a prospective student, my primary objective is to make her love the school as much as I do. When a prospie stops me to ask for directions, more often than not I stop whatever I am doing and walk her to where she needs to go, emphatically talking about how much I love it here. I probably sport the crazy eyes and maniacal smile whilst conducting these impromptu tours. Scratch that. I definitely sport the crazy eyes and maniacal smile whilst conducting these impromptu tours.

I go into hyper friendly mode. It’s as though I am involuntarily compensating for all my antisocial tendencies at once. I become terrifyingly chipper. And smiling that much hurts my face.

I wish I could say that it’s possible for me to avoid contact with prospective students so I won’t scare them away. Unfortunately, one of my best friends happens to be the new student coordinator, so my contact with prospies is inevitable.

YOUSHOULDCOMEHEREITSAMAZINGANDIMSSOHAPPYANDLOOKHOWPRETTYTHEBUILDINGSAREISNTTHEFOODDELICIOUS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!